Walking, a skill I thought I had mastered some years ago, has become a pain in my . . . legs. I have shin splints. A thin fiery, burning muscle, the anterior tibialis (shin) is making me want to cuss and cry while I’m exercising. After a little research I went to the sporting goods stores for some weights to help me stretch it out. Then I spotted my solution, a plastic tube with handles that weightlifters use for resistance training. This seemed like a viable, lighter and more portable solution than the ankle weights I was considering. Ima try it.
Feeling creative and smart, I sat down on the weight bench and looped the tube around my extended foot. The goal was to point my toe and then flex it, stretching the shin muscle. The pointing of the toe went great but when I flexed my foot the tubing catapulted off my foot and THWACK, square in the face. Perhaps a more intelligent soul may have figured out I was making myself into a human slingshot long before this point. Not me. I aimed that huge rubber band right at my face. I was now holding my head with one hand because it felt like it was exploding and dabbing my swollen watery eye and nose with the other. I tried sneaking a peak through my watery, squinted good eye, to see if anybody was watching.
There’s more. Since I had my shoe on when I tried it the first time I figured the hard soled shoe, not my brain, was the issue. So, I took my shoe off, looped the tube around my bare foot and DID IT AGAIN with predictably, the same result. Yup I’m just that intelligent. Not everyone can be smarties. Some of us are dum dums.
Pride abolished, I quickly placed the tubing back on the hook and scooted out of the the weight department hoping nobody saw the slingshot Korean hanging out there. Frankly, let’s hope if Kim Jong-un gets too aggressive with his target practice over there he has the same confusion with trajectory and direction as I do.
Yes. This is a true story. Dammit.
I’ve been waiting for somebody to give me permission to pursue a different career path than I had previously been on. I called my Pastor a couple of weeks ago, whining. I explained that all these great things were happening for me; writing, publishing, connections etc. but I felt I should still hang on to what was. His simple, wise response was something like “I don’t want to be insensitive but it seems like God is allowing you step into something great – Something many people would love to have the time and talent to do.” THWACK right in the face. Ummmm, yes. I’m blessed. I’m fortunate.
I suspect my pride muscle is wounded since I didn’t exactly choose to leave what I loved but perhaps a little gratitude is in order. Here’s what I have decided. Change is hard, unexpected change is horrible but forced change is excruciating. Gratitude for what was, what is and what may be, and releasing control of all of it is the balm my soul needs.
And perhaps a physics lesson or two. I don’t think the laws of natural selection are in my favor at this point.