Today, while shopping for the perfect low heel black boot to replace my old scuffed ones my slightly off-kilter mind began to drift.
Re-booting, that process of shutting down and simply starting over. Being comfortable with re-booting versus hating the process is the difference between throwing your computer across the room when it rebels against your commands or simply pushing the button until blackness clears the screen, allowing it to come to life again gently, seemingly of its own accord.
I had dreams. I HAVE dreams. The space between had and have is vast and was filled with twists and turns, including one long stay at a mental hospital. The dreams and goals I had were ambitious, heavy, serious, filled with the scurry of doing and becoming. Exhausting dreams chasing of a future I imagined in my mind without consulting my soul. And they almost killed me.
In contrast my best dreams now are about being. Being in the moment, loving what is, declining the invitation to obsess about what could be. My soul is on board and my mind follows suit. Following the blackness is the gentle hum of my life starting over, wiser and refreshed.
I resisted, fought and cursed the events that caused my life to reboot but, like throwing out my beloved boots and embracing the new ones, I can see the good in what is new. I am about 85% down the road to accepting the turn of events that caused my life to reboot and I’m happy to be there. Its not quite like Spring but I feel myself arriving at something like winter thaw, willing to embrace a new season.
I had dreams. I HAVE dreams and they give me life, and hope, and joy. I hope you arrive there too.