Day 95

Day 95 of 100 intentional, reflective steps.

There is a mixer game where you have a group of people all take their shoes off and put them into a pile.  Everybody reaches in and grabs a shoe and tries to find it’s owner and introduce themselves. Or, you can break into two teams, tie the shoes together in random pairs and then let one guest find their shoes. Then the owners of the attached shoes untie them and find their other one, etc. in a kind of relay to see which team gets properly shod first. This year has felt to me like an ongoing shoe game. I started off the year in what I thought were the perfect shoes. I was comfortable and I thought they looked great. What I didn’t know is that they were falling apart. The lining and the soles had disintegrated completely.

I’m looking for new shoes. Its time change it up, try something new. But somehow every time I go looking I keep getting drawn back to the same ones; the same color, style, shape. It’s a difficult task to change ourselves or allow change to be wrought upon us even though the prospect of reinventing ourselves feels titillating, exciting.

Here I stand on the edge of the next step of a million, my bare feet hanging over the edge.   Is that weird sensation euphoria or fear?