Day 8

Day 8 of 100 intentional, reflective steps.

Day 8

“People will want to know that there is hope”, a friend said. “They will want to find something to encourage them.”  I floated this blog to several close friends and trusted colleagues before I published it. This was the loving response from one of my friends. My thought? “Yeah! Don’t we all!”

I am recalling a conversation with another parent whose child had been recently diagnosed with cancer.  He said “I read everything I can find about (childhood) cancer. I keep hoping that at the bottom of every page it will say ‘he is going to live,’ but it never does.” A parent of a childhood cancer survivor myself, I understood and that understanding applies to my current life. I too want to see proof of life at the bottom of every page. I go to bed hoping tomorrow will look brighter, my illness less severe and my coping more effective .

I have spent months waiting for the page turn; waiting for the black and white of the yellow brick road to turn into technicolor but it hasn’t. Yet. But there is potential. The potential of hope gives me traction on days when my emotions are slick tires on ice, pulling me out of the quicksand of depression, and is a lighthouse when I think I’m drowning. That’s enough for me to hang on.

Activity report:
Made it to yoga and managed to keep my nutrition goals successfully. Until 5:00 p.m. Maybe I should make my bedtime at 4:30?