Day 52

Day 52 of 100 intentional reflective steps.
Nothing. I have nothing more to give. I’m tired. Spent. Empty.
In my minds eye I feel like I am going to feel this way for the rest of my life. I catastrophize. The trick is to honor where I am while still being able to recognize that this is just a flicker, a floating moment.  I have a nasty habit of hanging onto these moments when I don’t feel my best and assume they are my forever feelings. My emotions say I will be useless to society forever and always. 
It’s almost time to pull out the christmas books.  Every year since the kids were little i have added a christmas book to our collection. One of my favorites is of photographs of single snowflakes. Snowflakes are captured, light is shone through them and an image is snapped before it melts away. 
I would like to hold my moments,  the beautiful and the misformed ones, inspect them up against the light and then let them melt away peacefully without any anxiousness for them to disappear faster or hold on longer. 

P.S. Ironically as I was posting this my soft Christmas music changed to Pete Rivera’s  “Get ready cause here I come”. Had to laugh out loud and the my blue moment is melting away.