Day 44

Day 44 of 100 intentional reflective steps.
Day 44
“Where do you see yourself in 10 years?” a friend asked today during a coffee date. To be honest I used to have a 10 year plan. I had five year goals, yearly to do strategies and daily tasks. They were the rungs of the ladder that pulled me through the day. 
I can’t decide if I’m too afraid to think ten years ahead from now or if I have finally slowed down enough to live each day in its given moment. Either way, I don’t turn the calendar page until I have to and I certainly don’t spend time planning too far ahead.
I will admit. I have balked every step of the way. I spent months trying to plan something, anything, to do in the future just to reclaim some semblance of my former life. This wasn’t God’s plan for me. The plan was for me to rest, learn to take care of my mental and emotional health, and learn to trust Him. And now? This living in the day, the moment, feels like taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. It feels right. I have spent so much time climbing mountains, distracted by the peaks in the distance that I forgot to live. Nobody taught me how to breathe and climb at the same time.