Day 42

Day 42 of 100 intentional reflective steps. 
Day 42
I still check my email like five times a day as if I am going to miss something really urgent. I look at Facebook twice that much. Mostly I do it so I have something to do. I leave unanswered voicemails on my phone just so there is a number that pops up instead of a blank “nobody called you.”
A year and a half ago my phone rang all the time. There were always messages, emails, demands, needs, wants and invitations from people. I tried to answer and respond to as many as I could. It’s possible I was lulled into the comfort of being in demand; being needed. 
Being needed is not a purpose or life goal in itself. Its a toxin that hardens the soul from the outside in, like a loaf of bread left on the counter.  What once was soft, nurturing, absorbent become hard and invitation for mold and corruption. Our souls need to be kept soft to absorb light, nutrient and warmth from care and love provided us by faith and healthy human interaction. Its not that being in a role where you must take care of others consistently will kill your soul. It is the over prioritizing of others above your own soul, at the neglect of your soul, that corrupts. 
At least this is what they tell me.