Helmut

Day 25 of 100 intentional, reflective steps.

I am a guest in a home right now.  They have graciously carved out a bright lovely little space for my very own. Well, it’s my own except for when the 160 pound bull mastiff  sweet puppy named Helmut comes to snuggle with me. He is very lovey but snuggles like a cement truck.

Being a guest is nice because you have no ownership, angst or responsibility in daily mundane details like whether or not the sink drains slow or the tub is clogged. You can just settle in and enjoy the more important things; conversation, relationship, love. I don’t have to rearrange, fix or worry about my friend’s home. I can just enjoy its loveliness and character, but I am so judgmental about my own.

I want to treat myself like a guest in my own body. I want to notice that some things creak and crack and will need fixing, observe my discomfort in certain situations, recognize that my heart hurts a lot, acknowledge that someone else’s self looks better than my own, all without judgment or competition. Then, I could settle in and enjoy the more important things; conversation, relationship and love.