Day 17 of 100 intentional, reflective steps.

Before I left the psych center they tried desperately to find a psychiatrist for me at home. No success. It appears psychiatrists are actually allergic to my home state! There are so few of them here. They are a bit like bear sightings; infrequent and come with wild stories of predatory behavior.

The first clinic that reviewed my case took over a month to get back to me saying “We’re sorry. Your case is too complicated for us. You’ll have to find somebody else.” WTF? Its not like I’m jumping around buildings at night saying I’m spiderman or something.  For crying out loud, receptionist lady, I have a long lineage of crazies and I’m worried I’m a carrier.

Finally, I found a psychiatrist who was a fit immediately. Only problem is either he is retiring or he just tells that to all his patients he gets tired of. In spite of protests my last appointment was today and I actually feel pretty devastated. Finding a mental health professional was difficult enough, finding one that I actually appreciate was a rare blessing. I’m afraid lightening can’t strike in that category again.

As I left the office to schedule my appointment with the new doctor who is apparently brilliant, heroic and farts glitter out her ass, I found out I cannot see her for three months. I really started crying. The irony of it, crying over not being able to see the new provider who I don’t really want to see at all. Well, color me another day of feeling crazy.  It is what it is. I’ll adjust.