Day 27 of 100 intentional, reflective steps.
I wandered the airport participating in a weird cat and mouse game. A dozen or so people walked crooked lines, crisscrossing through the terminal. Our eyes darted here and there across the ground and up the walls. We walked with the attentiveness of one looking to avoid bugs skittering about. But it wasn’t critters we were looking for. Looking like odd little critters ourselves, each one dragging a corded tail, we just wanted power.
There were a variety of outlets under the seats and on the walls but it seemed that 80% of them were non functional and only a small percentage of the ones that appeared to be working actually were. You know, kind of like constructions crews? Only one out of 12 seems to be doing anything. I finally landed on one that actually made the Harry Potter lightening signal on my phone light up and felt like I had won the electric lottery. I plugged in and plopped down. My copping a squat here quickly turned our game of cat and mouse into one of sardines. I was joined by three others who also “plugged in” with a sigh of relief. I was happy to share my powered oasis with these strangers.
It occurs to me that any perceived source of power or strength can serve as a similar oasis. Take faith for instance. So often we can get ridiculed for sharing our faith with other people. The reason I share my faith is because it is a shared source, ENDLESS source, of power, strength and hope for me.
Some day in the future these writings may be a similar source of power for others who are working through some of the same challenges I am. Who knows? However, currently what this writing has done for me is create a beautiful pool of people who are honoring my risk of being vulnerable and honest by cheering me on. It has been such a raw joy to find new companions and renewed faith in “old” ones through my 100 days.
27 days in and still writing.
Day 7 of 100 intentional, reflective steps.
I was raised in a religious environment that led me to believe if I wasn’t striving in my faith, in almost an angsty way, that I was moving backwards. If I wasn’t moving forward then I was regressing. Stillness meant spiritual death. This is where I take my leave with faith that demands I strive in order to succeed.
I find peace in the stillness because I know God is there. It is in the blackness, the quiet and the silence that I am secure because it is where I feel the most held. There is no distraction of myself and my own feeble attempts to win the grace of One who gives it freely.
This year has been that stillness. I have not been working at my faith but thankfully it is is working on me. I have come to know it in a deeper way than I ever thought possible.
Activity report! Finally. I took a walk today. Now I am filled with the overconfidence that western immediate gratification tempts us with. My struggle to be disciplined in all areas of life is not so much in the starting. It is in the continuing. One day at a time, one right decision at a time. No room for guilt trips and failure speak
Day 5 of 100 intentional, reflective steps.
Things that others may take for granted are not constants for me. Take parents for instance. Most people have a single set of parents, like ’em or not. Not me. I had birth parents. Then I had adoptive parents. Then adoptive parents. (Yes. Another set.) Then step parents. Then guardianparentsfosterparentsguardianparents. Then I had parents in law. Yup that’s 6+ sets.
I love the church so much I became part of leading it because I thought, with proper leadership, it had the power to change the world! To date I have worked at seven church, three of which I helped start from scratch, plus countless other churches as a guest speaker or consultant. Perhaps this is is my non-spandex/capewearing/superhero way of being a part of changing the world? I love it and it has been a steady pillar in my crazy life.