Day 100 of 100 intentional, reflective steps.
At the beginning on this journey I felt conspicuous and awkward, like a giraffe at a penguin party. Sharing my inner thoughts and insecurities was intimidating . I knew I was risking judgement to obtain understanding and wasn’t sure it was worth the outlay of vulnerability. At the end of the day I just wasn’t sure the cost wouldn’t be too high for me. But I posted anyway. For me.
100+ days later I am overwhelmed. Almost 30,000 page reads when I didn’t even really expect a dozen. Encouragement and solidarity with friends and strangers. So many people have sent me private messages. They tell me their stories and where my words have spoken into their circumstances and relationships. I am humbled beyond words; well actually humbled into more words to share.
Since this blog posted I have finally publicly acknowledged myself as a writer; a huge step for me in being able to see there is another piece of me beyond the public figure, community builder, pastor, consultant, entrepreneur. In stark contrast to my more public microphone authoritative voice there is an internal quiet, often quivering, reflective voice that seeks to connect with others through words, stories and laughter. I have given her permission to speak. My confidence in the value of my own words has grown.
What’s next? Oh, more blogging, more journalism and there is a dream of a book. Not bad for a woman who wouldn’t even claim to be a writer 100 days ago!